34 weeks and counting

Today I had an appointment for an ultrasound and the standard clinic visit. The ultrasound was first, followed by clinic which included a discussion with our doctor on what they found in the ultrasound. Unfortunately, Lily's hydrocephalus is getting worse which is causing her head to grow much faster than the rest of her body. Her body's sized at about 32 weeks, but her head is measuring 35.5 weeks. In conjunction with that the amniotic fluid is also increasing - I have about 35% more amniotic fluid than other women at my same stage of pregnancy. They didn't tell me why her hydrocephalus is getting worse (I forgot to ask, but they probably don't have a clear idea anyway) but there is nothing we can do about it until she's born. It does carry some necessary complications for the birth, however.

If her head keeps growing so much faster than the rest of her it may get to a point where it's too big to fit through the vaginal canal, making a vaginal delivery impossible. At that point they would have to do a c-section, cutting horizontally across my lower abdomen. But if the head gets really big it'll be too big for that even and they'll have to do a c-section cutting vertically up my abdomen. Considering I wanted to have a natural, drug-free delivery I'm not very excited about any of these options. But of course we do what's best for Lily.

Here's the really tricky part: If her head keeps growing, with only a "guarded prognosis" for Lily we have to decide what course of action we want to take. Whether to induce labor early or do a c-section and, if a c-section, what type? In other words, how long will we let her grow inside of me before saying it's time? The longer we wait the better for her, but the more complications it makes for futures pregnancies/labors/children. Fun place to be, huh?

I think I'd rather be elsewhere. But this is it; this is our life, our pregnancy, our baby girl. And somehow the pieces are all going to fall together. It may not be as pretty a picture as we would have liked, but that's okay. If every piece was made in gold and yellow the end result wouldn't be nearly as beautiful as with the blacks and greys. Please don't stop praying for my baby.